Speaking of my heart (finally)

Today, I've finally tell the girl that I've like for quite sometime(few months), I finally tell her that how much i love her. I tell her not because I wanna be with her(I wanted too, but, well, just keep on reading and you will know), I just don't want to keep that in my heart anymore, so I decided to tell her. Who? For you to find out and for me to know^^ Is she hot? Well, I would say, why don't you compare her with angels? Because she look just the same. Except she cant fly because no wing? But, when ever I saw her, I am flying.(wow.....)
In my life experience so far, falling in love with a girl for me is as hard as getting A in Sejarah(ppl like me get a B in Sejarah last time, I will like, run the class few rounds and shout!! During SPM now college already). And yet I meet her. =) Every time I saw her I will feel happy,it is very strange when you don't even know her you will felt it that way, but yea, I really got that kinda feelings. Everyday I tend to stare at her(in a way that she didn't know) in the college if she ever got class. That time haven't got the guts to open conversation with her, you guys will know it, when you meet some people you like, your action tend to be a bit fearful, right , right??More and more I don't even know her yet. But actually that time I already know her name, age, where she stay, and stuff.. He he... At that moment I'm also having lots of college work, and I've got other things to busy with also. So I just forget about meeting her first, but the only thing that I will never forget is "I love her".
One day, me with my friend waiting for bus at the station, and I saw her standing there. I was like, 'Shit! she's there! I'm gonna get her number man!" I told my friend. But when I were standing right there, I cant tell how coward am I. =.= I was like standing there.. looking around.. looking at my watch(is ellese!) pressing my phone.. act like got some messages.. Ha ha! But after awhile, I just 'put' everything off and say, 'hey, I dint go your name!' And there I got her name, and it is"- - - - - -" Ha ha! And chat awhile with her. I ask those question that I already know the answer.. "waiting parents?" "Where do you stay?" bla bla bla.. Ha ha! I saw her smiling, and I cant tell how sweet it is, and she is so cute^^
After 1 or 2 weeks after that day, was in college again. I was there early morning for some meeting, I was sitting there waiting, I was still so tired, and I saw her! One of the happiest things that I can think of is that seeing your love one every morning/day. I really hope that day will come across me soon^^ She walked out after say hi and looking through the time schedule. Then I walk out wanted to chat with her,but, this part hurts a bit, I saw her stand close with one guy beside one car. @.@ After that I just walk back in sadly.. and continue waiting all the late comers.. Know what? They should call THE LATE bla bla bla! ha ha! ..... sigh... that scene give me a damn bad feeling about I will face failure soon. I keep searching just want to take a look a her... After my meeting and class is over, I went to student gallery, there's the place where student can sit relax and do their stuff if they want to. and I saw her! I was with my friend again((same with the bus station that one. We always together. I'm not gay(very obvious), and my friend already got girl friend)), he know bout I like this girl, he is like "oi, want me help u take her number not?!" And I was like"ShhhHHhhhhh..." after my friend was gone, then only I go to her. So daring suddenly? I don't know... natural action actually. she look at me and say that today she meet me quite often, I wanted to tell her that it is because I've been looking for her. She was there with another friend or mine too. so than we chat. And I get her number(that is after turning a damn big round then only got her number)!! he he! That time she was like keep sms-ing and stuff.. And her face while sms-ing tell me that that's not a good sign for me.. At last!
A tall(taller then me..shit!), well build(damn.....), good looking(then me? don't think so man....). She says 'This is my boyfriend.' at that moment of time, i suddenly got two hearts! Why? It broke... You know i really wanna...@%^#that guy.. u know... But..after see-ing the size and stuff.. I was like, hmmmmmm.... well, better don't break them you know... not that i don't dare.. is I don't want too.. it is damn bad to break a couple you know... so after her Bf left, we continue the conversation, I was like smiling smiling... but she never know how painful inside of me is... I took bus home after that. I was so emo.. even on the floor got $$...OF CAUSE I will take dude! Think what end of the world? although I feel sad, but, when I saw the way she look at her Bf, can see how happy she is.. and the smile is so sweet, naturally I fell better. Cause if the happiness in me in triple of hers. As long as she happy, contentment I fell.
In life time, many sad things that happens and will make some people fell down, sad etc. Some times this kinda of feeling will make somebody do something that will hurt him/herself. It all depends on how u manage your feelings. The only reason that you want curtain people with you is because you like him/her and want to make her feel happy and things like that, if come to situation such like mine, I rather be sad alone then more people hurts, at least I know she is happy right now. I don't fell it is good if I've got her from break her with other guys, and if turn the situation around, if its happen to me myself, I wouldn't fell good. Is either you wait, or you move on. As for me, I will wait and move on^^

Wishing every happiness fall into her life,
tears drops cause of joy,
and I love you..